This Mother's Day (May 14, 2017) week showed me once again that you just can't argue with life sometimes and things don't always work out how you want to no matter how hard you try. But whatever what happens, even if you are not there physically, as long as you keep your loved ones close to your heart and in your thoughts, your love will reach them one way or another.
Since we had lots of plans for mom and Ate Sheena's birthdays, I had to arrange my schedule that I would be off that weekend. So starting from Thursday the week prior, I worked 1 on-1 off-2 on-1 off-3 on. It definitely felt like I was working 6 days in a row.
I was working Saturday and Sunday evening and my mom would be working Sunday day time. By the time I got off Sunday morning on Mother's Day, she's already at work. And when she finally gets home at 8 pm, I had already left at 530 pm to go to work for Sunday shift. So I never really got to see her on Mother's Day. Even after that, I would be working 3 in a row and she as well, and we wouldn't see each other for 3 days until her birthday on Friday.
It was really sad for me. I remember driving to work and thinking that I wish I could be there when Ate Sheena gave our card and gifts. I wanted to see her reaction to our heart-felt messages and to see the joy and her reaffirmation of our love for her, our beloved mother. Because we really do, and she really does deserve all our love and appreciation.
Over the years, we've given her so many greeting cards and gifts (flowers, clothes, bags, etc.), yet each time I wish there was more I could give. Something grander, something more expensive, maybe something that could really make her go 'Wow!'. There's always that feeling and thought, 'I want to give her the best of everything in life'.
Our mom has been through a lot in her life, so many challenges and obstacles, so many sacrifices and hardships. Yet throughout it all, she's still here fighting and holding on. She is truly an inspiration to me and everyone around her. Her friends adore her very much because her friendship is real and she will stick with you through thick and thin.
During my last shift on the 18th, all I could talk to my coworkers was how excited I am to go home and see my mom, to hug her and greet her happy birthday. It felt like I was coming home after such a long journey far away.
Yet again, life has thrown me another curve ball and I end up struggling to catch it and it hit me straight in the face this time.
As I'm writing this, it's already the 20th and her birthday has passed yesterday. I won't go much into detail but it was a difficult day for us all. It started out so well in the morning and ended up really sad for everybody by the end. As of now, everything is still fragile but I think we're going to be okay. All we need is time and understanding.
And that's just how life is; it's not all about you and me, it's about everybody. We're all interconnected and our actions and words affect other people.
It's another new day, a very special day. Today is my mom's birthday celebration party. Her friend and coworkers will be coming over and I'm even more determined to make this one of her best birthdays.
"Happy Birthday Mom! I love you and I wish you all the best in the world! Maybe you'll read this in the future, maybe not. But I continue to hope that even though we're struggling right now as a family, we'll come out of this stronger and better. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. You are always cherished and will always be my inspiration. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I will forever try my best to make that come true."